Would you all please just go away?

Getting things fantastically wrong is a specialty of mine. Years ago I was at a big luncheon in the Royal York hotel and spotted a friend from years back across the crowd of many hundreds. Her face hadn’t changed, but as I drew closer, I could see she’d cut her hair down to her scalp.

“How are you?” I gushed. “What did you do with your hair?”

“I have a b…